This is me (in the purple) doing what I love :)

Dreams are funny things.  I think that sometimes our dreams do mean something and sometimes, they don't.  Often I can think back to a part of a dream and I'll know exactly why it was in my dream.  I can recall a conversation from earlier in the day or seeing something on TV for example and so it makes sense to me that those images would be woven through my dreams.

Now that I am home and healing, which means no boxing for me for a while, I have begun to search the web on boxing.  Nothing specific, just seeing what comes up and "surfing" from there.

I ended up on a Dream Dictionary site looking at the interpretation of boxing in your dreams  I found this info at http://www.myjellybean.com.  I have not had any dreams about boxing, I was just curious.  What I read was a little surprising to me.

To dream of a boxing ring, or to dream that you are boxing, suggests that you are experiencing some internal struggle or conflict. It may also indicate that you keep your emotions inside. In addition, this dream may be a wordplay on "boxing" things in, symbolizing that you are putting unnecessary limits on yourself and your goals.

The past few weeks have been very difficult for me, mentally and emotionally.  I would definitively say I was "experiencing some internal struggle...".  Also, I tend to stuff my uncomfortable emotions down deep, so I "keep my emotions inside".  

Again, I haven't had any dreams about my beloved boxing, but I found it very interesting how closely the dream interpretation paralleled my life recently.  I believe wholeheartedly that physically boxing was very helpful in working out those internal struggles and emotions I didn't want to face.  When I am boxing, I am in my Happy Place :)  Surgery is over and now I'm ready for the next step, recovery, so I can get back to what I love to do...Box!


Dear Diary,

I actually don't write in a diary. But any time I write about my feelings towards this upcoming surgery, I have titled it, Dear Diary.  I think that's kind of funny.

I have to be at the hospital at 6:15am on Monday morning.  I am okay with the early time.  Less time to miss my breakfast and coffee.  This also means I shouldn't get a caffeine headache.

I had my final workout session this morning.  I have totally mixed feelings about that.  On one hand, I am that much closer to getting this surgery over with.  On the other hand, I am going to miss the exercise and outlet I have discovered in boxing.  But I've got my house cleaned, and my Mother in Law is due tomorrow to take care of the kiddos on Monday, so it looks like, I'm ready.

Tomorrow, is going to be a slow day.  I'm ready to get home and start this recovery.  Next week is going to be a tough one to get through, but it will pass.  I have wonderful friends and family who love me very much.  I have already had many phone calls, texts and face to face conversations with people who want to stop over and visit with me during my first week home.  And then, I've had several friends offer to walk with me at the Y the following week when I am up and need to get out of the house.  I am going to take them up on them those offers ;)

I am very blessed.  When I start to get worried or overwhelmed by what lies ahead, I want to focus on how I will someday soon feel better physically.  I do not remember what it is like to not hurt every day.  I want to think about all the people who are routing for me and want to be there for me.  And I want to think on when I will be able to run the stairs again and work my lower body at the gym.  I have some hard days ahead but I know they will pass.  I'm trying to remember this is all temporary and I will be better in the long run so this will all be worth it.


Bean and Bacon Wrap


I don't usually post two recipes in a row but this was very quick to make and according to the panel (1 Mini, 1 husband and myself) this is definitely a do-over. Give it a try this weekend for something a little different.

Most days we enjoy the same type of lunch around here.  Sandwich, fruit, maybe a salad or some pretzels, etc.  Today, I felt like trying something new.  I had planned this meal as a dinner for the week but decided to shake things up a bit and enjoy this for lunch instead.

I cooked, drained and crumbled a few slices of bacon.  In a medium bowl, mix one can of re-fried beans, one can of rinsed and drained kidney beans and bacon.  If you want, you can add chopped celery, onion, peppers, garlic, etc. (whatever flavors you enjoy) at this point too.  Stir mix very well.

Spread the bean mix onto a 8" flour tortilla, sprinkle with shredded cheddar cheese.  Roll the wrap.  You can eat this cold.  I put warmed it on my panini maker.  Super yummy!  I loved it and my Girl Mini gobbled it down too making the happy sound of "mmm, mmm.".

That makes this wrap a winner in my book.


Vegan Pumpkin Cookies

I love pumpkin.  It doesn't matter what time of year.  I stumbled across this recipe and decided to give it a try.  These are pretty tasty and they are as healthy as a cookie can get.  Also, I have a dear friend who has recently decided to go Vegan so  I thought I'd try a recipe that I could pass on to her.

You need:

2 C flour (I used one C white and 1 C wheat)

1 C sugar

1 t baking soda

1 t baking powder

1 t allspice

1 t cinnamon

1/8 t salt

1 C pumpkin (I used canned, not pie mix)

1/2 C unsweetened applesauce

1 t vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Cream together sugar, applesauce and vanilla in a large mixing bowl.  Stir in pumpkin, set aside.

In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and allspice.

Stir dry mix into creamed pumpkin mix and mix well.

Drop onto cookie sheet. Bake about 15 mins.

These were simple to make and they are great for a low calorie cookie. They aren't my favorite cookie ever but they were moist and full of flavor and filled the bakery item craving ;)


Adorable magnet craft

This is a really cute craft my kiddos made at our weekly children's program at church. They made these magnets that spell their names. This project would be cute for any age person. Any word could be used as well.

Note**The letters above are scrambled and one letter is missing to protect the innocent ;)

Go to your local craft store and buy a bag of clear stones. The ones we used had one flat side. Then you cut letters out of a magazine. Glue your letters to the flat side, letter side up (it feels wrong to put glue on the letter side but it dries clear). Final step, use a hot glue gun to glue one magnet to the back of the stone. Again, glue the magnet to the flat side of the magnet.

Not much to this craft but I thought they were really clever. Spell a name or an encouraging word, such as Awesome or Cool or Clever. Really, whatever word inspires you. Have fun and get creative!

Thanks for reading Java Talk. Please share your thoughts below.


Think Good Thoughts

I am a fan of Colbie Caillat.  I really enjoy her music.  Recently, there is a song that has struck a cord with me.  The song is called, Think Good Thoughts.  Great song with such a positive message.

For some reason, it seems we are often our own worst enemies.  We tend to hold ourselves up to this standard that often isn't possible to achieve.  At least, I know I tend to do this and I can't imagine I'm the only one with this problem.

A friend and I were talking about this kind of self talk yesterday.  And she said to me, "Would we say these things to our friends?  Our children?  Why do we speak to ourselves this way?"  Good question.

One line from this song that I can't get out of my head is...

                                     Don't let my negativity turn me into my enemy.

Wow, such a small phrase but they really hit home for me.  I can be very hard on myself.  And once those mean thoughts start coming, they tend to snowball and can get away from me pretty quickly.

So today I am going to keep thinking on this.  And when those negative thoughts pop up, I'm going to Think Good Thoughts and shake them off.  I challenge you to commit to the same and lets see if we can turn our self talk around so we can believe in ourselves, one Good Thought at a time.


1 Hour, That's All I Ask For...

Okay, 1 hour plus travel time.  But seriously, one hour, five days a week.  I need my hour of exercise for so many reasons.  I try to be flexible.  I try to not make everyone crazy with my schedule.  But seriously...it's 1 hour.  And this is the beginning of my countdown to surgery.  One week from today, I have my hip operated on and I have no idea when I will be able to get back to my "normal" exercise.  I know this is only temporary break, but it is extremely stressful to me.

This is MY hour.  No kids, no husband, no pets and most of the time, no worries.  I just go to the gym and work as hard as I can doing what I love (Boxing!!!).  Then I go home and shower and get on with my day.  But that hour is crucial to maintaining my weight, keeping my stress levels down, and it helps me to feel good about myself.  Actually, the list could go on and on.

Last week, I took the time to schedule my final 5 pre-surgery workouts with my trainer.  Sundays are crazy long for me because I don't workout that day.  So Monday I wake up and I can't wait to hit the gym.  This morning I get a wake up call from the School District at 5 am informing parents that the kiddos have a 2 hour delay due to "inclement weather".  I don't know whose window they were looking out but we didn't have any ice or snow on the roads.  Obviously, the safety of the kids is most important.  But it was 5 am and I couldn't start rearranging my schedule around for hours.  Did I ever mention how I don't handle unfinished business very well?  Haha.

I watched the clock tick by and eventually was able to reschedule my workout as well as shuffle the Mini's around.  My son is going to grab the bus with the neighbor boys (having good neighbors is such a blessing) and my daughter is going to play at a friends house (having great friends is a blessing as well) while I make my way over to the Y.

I realize in the big picture, this is all very trivial.  Be patient with me.  I am facing a surgery that is out of my control with a recovery time that is unknown and also out of my control.  I just want my 5 hours this week without anymore drama.  I pray that isn't too much to ask for.


The Problem With Garlic


I love garlic.   I'm sure you don't have to think very hard to figure out the problem with garlic.  I am afraid to eat garlic because of the bad breath it leaves behind.  My husband has pointed out more than once that he knows I ate out for lunch because he can smell garlic on my breath.  (How Rude!)

Anyway...today I took my BFF (didn't think I'd ever use that one, did you?) out to lunch for her birthday.  We went to a Thai restaurant.  I am not very adventurous with my food but I've eaten here several times before and I really like it.  The food is so fresh and extremely tasty!

So I really enjoyed my lunch, what I ate as well as the girl time we got to have.  But tonight my garlic breath was mentioned.  So I decided to Google if there is any way to get rid of garlic breath.  I was surprised that several sites reported the same advice.

Here is what I found.
1. Eat fresh parsley after your meal.
2.  Eat fresh lemon after your meal.
3.  You can drink milk with your meal.  And the research seems to show that full fat milk works best.
4.  Drink hot tea after your meal.  If you can, make it green tea or mint tea.

The faster you "treat" the better.  If left alone, it can (but doesn't have to) take up to 3 days for the garlic to fade from your breath.  I'm not sure if these suggestions really work.  But they were consistent on all the sites.  The kiddos are going to bed soon.  Once they are down, I'm going to make a cup of hot tea and see for myself if this is helpful.  At best, yes.  At worst, I just get to enjoy a relaxing cup of hot tea as I unwind from the day.


Random Thought

As I was driving though town today, I noticed a mattress store. Then another mattress store. And then another mattress store. I can think of two more off the top of my head.  While driving by, I noticed that there didn't appear to be anyone in the showroom. Then I thought about how you rarely see people in the showroom of a mattress store. So how do these businesses stay open and why are there so many of them?

 Don't get me wrong. These stores provide a much needed product. But how often does a person buy a new mattress? I am intrigued by this observation of many stores that don't seem very busy. And I'm not talking about a variety of stores in an out of the way strip mall that doesn't have steady business. I'm talking about stores all over that sell similar product. Can you think of any other type of business always appears to be slow but there are several different ones to choose from ?Hmm...

 Thanks for reading Java Talk. Please share your thoughts below.


Seriously Long Lasting

I can be a girlie girl and I love to get a pedicure. But it is extremely rare for me to get a manicure. It's just not worth the money to me. The color on my toes lasts, on my fingers...not so much. I've tried a few different types of gel polishes at the salon. I like the idea of the color lasting over a week. But for some reason, I don't have much luck with how these formulas dry on my nails. These new polish techniques definitely last a long time and I've seen beautiful manicures done with the gel polish but it hasn't worked out as well as I'd hoped for me.

 So I discovered the brand, Zoya. This brand of nail polish is said to be natural (although I don't know how that works since there are lots of ingredients that I can't pronounce). But there are a few things that are NOT in these nail polishes.  This polish is toluene, formaldehyde, DBP and Camphor Free.    That sounded good to me, so I bought two colors as well as a kit that included a base coat, top coat, quick dry and polish remover.

When my colors arrived, I quick chose one and got to work. I am thrilled to say this color really did last over a week with no chips. The past few days a few tiny chips appeared. I'm not sure how this company did it, but this polish looks great on.

Did I mention there are 300 colors to choose from? 300! Check out the website, www.zoya.com. If you take the time to paint your nails, I think this is a great product. I have seen a small selection at Ulta but you've got to check out the colors on the website. Seriously, it's overwhelming. I had never heard of this brand before. Have you?

 Thanks for reading Java Talk. Please share your thoughts below.


Dear Diary,

Okay, I am not going to make Java Talk a place for me to gripe about my upcoming surgery and recovery.  With that said, I am going to share my thoughts on this upcoming event today.  I first shared about this surgery a little over a week ago.  At that time, I was really twisted up over having to go through this all over again.  I was angry, I was scared, I was feeling sorry for myself, etc.

Last week was miserable for me.  I chose to stop taking my pain medicine because I must be off of it completely before surgery.  Worst...Week...Ever.  But now, I am over that hump and I realize my feelings towards this whole thing has begun to shift.  First of all, the only reason I have been able to stay so active and do the things I love to do (like walk, exercise, box, etc) is because of the pain medicine I was taking.  Now that I am not taking the medicine, I am feeling very limited in what I can do comfortably.  That is extremely frustrating.  Which is one reason for my change in attitude towards this surgery.

Now, I just want it over.  I'm ready.  Let's do this thing and get it over with.  I want to get fixed and then just get better.  I am still anxious over what I will be able to do with respect to my exercise.  That hour each day is so important to me and my mental health, I dread the thought of being unable to participate.  I mean, really, I have lost sleep over the unknown of what I will be able to do and how long it will take me to get back to what I love...boxing.

I do have a plan for this though.  I know I have to be flexible and listen to my body, but I feel much better just having a plan.  First, I will have physical therapy three times a week.  This will help me to strengthen my muscles so I can get back to life as usual.  I also have wonderful friends who have volunteered to walk the track at the Y with me.  This will be helpful because I will keep with my routine and not be isolated at home, feeling sorry for myself.  And finally, I've been working with a Trainer (because boxing in a class three times a week isn't enough for me, haha!) and he has agreed to work with me as I recover.  I will continue to get stronger with each week.  I will pray my recovery goes by quickly.  And I am excited to see the me I'll be when I'm all better.  All of these things are going to be very good for me both physically and mentally.

As the big day gets closer, I'm sure I will get nervous again.  But for now, I am ready.  Let's just do this thing.  I want to get past all of this and be better.  And I am really looking forward to the summer when I am healed, strong, and get to enjoy life with two healthy hips!


Homemade Hot Chocolate

Okay, I admit, this is probably not a huge feat. But I made my own hot chocolate last night and I loved it! Coffee is my drink of choice throughout the day (yes, I do drink tons of water too) but when the kids go to bed, I delight in my warm cup of hot chocolate. This is my dessert and my chocolate fix all in one. I've been looking into recipes online to make my own for a while but to someone who can be too calorie conscious, there is a lot of sugar in hot chocolate. So I stick with the instant because someone has figured out the caloric damage and I'm comfortable with my choices. I've discovered Dark Hot Chocolate which is the best (in my opinion) and regular HC isn't good enough for me anymore. So last night, I decided to take a leap and make my own. It's only one batch so it doesn't matter how much sugar, right? Right! All I did was look at the recipe on the box of my baking Cocoa Powder. Simple. I actually made a last minute substitution and used Almond Milk in place of 1% milk. Only 40 calories instead of 110 Wasn't sure how that would go. But I love it. I'm sure the milk would have made it a bit creamier but I didn't mind the switch at all. The recipe made 5 servings so I poured the rest in an air tight container I will continue to enjoy this HC for most of this week :)

Look! I did it. It's like chocolate soup.

I was really pleased with my first attempt at making my own HC. I think I will be making this for a while. Thanks for reading Java Talk. Please share your thoughts below.


I'm Busy, You're Busy.

Today is Friday, and my hubby has taken the day off of work.  Before you gasp at his willingness to shrug off a day of work for no major reason, he chose to go to work on the Monday after  New Year's Day to be assist with any problems that arose due to the change in year.  So he is off work today, but we will hardly see each other.  I'm busy and he is busy.  We just aren't busy together.

I took the boy to school.  We both took the girl to gymnastics, where I dropped him off and I met my friend for our weekly coffee date.  (In my defense, I had no idea he was planning on coming to gymnastics until about 5 minutes before we left)  We came home and he is currently playing school with our Girl Mini. In a few minutes, he is going to go have lunch at school with the Boy Mini.  When he gets home, I am headed to school to help in one of the classrooms, this was scheduled last month.  From there I run over to the hospital and fill out paperwork for my upcoming surgery :(  Then I get to run over to the gym and have my "Me Time" (I cannot wait for this hour).

I have no idea what he has planned while I am gone, but he will pick the kiddos up from school and shuttle them to the hair salon so the Girl Mini can get her hair cut (b/c I totally forgot about her appointment on Monday...YIKES!).  We should all end up together for dinner tonight.

This is not an unusual day for me.  I'm usually the one running here and there and constantly watching the clock.  We aren't doing anything big or exciting on this day he has taken off from work.  Which is kind of a bummer.  But he is able to do some fun things with the kids that he doesn't usually get the chance to do.  And I get a little help getting things done around here. It will be interesting what he will think about his day off once it is over.  Knowing him, he wont be disappointed.  He will enjoy the time he got to spend with the kiddos.  Thankfully, the weekend is here so he and I can do more than just pass each other in the garage.


Guess Who Forgot to Stop By?

The Tooth Fairy!  Oops! my little girl is dropping teeth like crazy.  She has lost three teeth since Christmas.  Last night she set her tooth out and went to sleep.  It was some time in the middle of the night that I remembered about the Tooth Fairy!  Unfortunately, I think I woke up because I heard her coughing in her sleep.  She is a light sleeper and chances were too great to risk sneaking in there at that point.  So Andy and I decided we would tell her that sometimes the TF has so many kiddos to check-in with that she comes the next night instead.

This morning, she comes in and she is looking pretty glum.  I have already forgotten about the TF and asked her what was wrong.  She started crying saying the TF didn't come last night.  Uh-oh...epic Mommy/Daddy failure!  Thankfully Daddy was there too so I didn't have to shoulder the crushing disappointment on my own.  We already have a story so I begin to tell her all about how there must have been too many kiddos on the list last night so I'm sure she will come tonight.  She didn't seem comforted at this thought and was still pretty distressed.  So good old Daddy comes out with a line about how when this happens, the TF leaves extra money.  When that came out, I thought that was pretty cute.

So tonight, guess what we WILL NOT forget to do?!?!  You guessed it.  I'm happy to say at this point in my young childrens' lives, we haven't disappointed them often.  It felt awful.  It will happen again I know but with this experience fresh in my mind, I hope it wont be for a very long time.


They DO Love Each Other

Just in case, you didn't know, I have two kiddos.  One boy, and one girl.  They are 21 months apart.  Life is starting to get easier now that they are 7 and 5.  But now they fight ALOT!  I know this is normal brother/sister behavior and certainly nothing new to the family dynamic but that doesn't really make it easier to deal with when you are deep in the trenches.

I want them to grow up and be friends.  They don't have to be best buds, but I do want them to have a good relationship.  On one hand, I think the fact that they are close in age will help.  So will the fact that they are in consecutive grades at school.  My hope is that there will be enough in common to build a solid foundation for the future.

Right now, they play well on their own but not so much together.  Put them in the same room and they are either wrestling in play (which makes me nuts) or they are fighting which leads to tattling (which makes me nuts) on each other.

Last night I was out and the kiddos were home with Daddy.  This morning Andy told me that while our son was making an edible experiment with one of his Christmas presents, he spilled a good bit of the powder on the floor.  Andy said he looked nervous like he was worried he would get in trouble but he started to try to clean the mess from the floor.  But little sister saw what happened and came to the rescue.  She grabbed her toy broom and dustpan and helped big brother clean up the mess.  They worked together and got the job done!  To me, this is a small glimpse of the fact that they DO love each other.  I cannot guarantee they will like each other when they grow up but this made my heart smile and gives me hope for their relationship in the future.


New Gadget at our House

I grew up in Eastern Pa. I went to college in North Western Pa. I thought it was very strange how many college students watched the weather channel. We got lots and lots and lots of snow, but who watches the weather channel under the age of 62? Now, all these years later I think it's funny that I am intrigued by different weather gadgets. No, I still don't watch the weather channel but I do love to check out the different gadgets in the stores. So when I was shopping for Christmas presents, I was quick to grab this gadget for my kiddos. The kids and I are really enjoying our First Weather Station.

This little wonder is so cute! It tells the time. It tells the temperature inside the house. There is a little girl who dresses according to the weather (which I think is great). And it tells the current temperature outside. Lots of great information in one spot! And the Mini's like being able to check the weather for themselves. They also like knowing how to dress for the day. And I like that they know how to dress for the day without someone hollering, "Mom! Do I wear pants and short sleeves or long sleeves?". This is one present that has been fun for us all! Thanks for reading Java Talk. Please share your thoughts below.


Menu Monday

I'm back! It's been a whole since I've put together a menu for the week and it has been very noticeable. So here's what's for dinner at our house thus week. Maple-Mustard Glazed Chicken with steamed broccoli. Parmesan Honey Pork Roast (made in the crock pot!) with asparagus. Chicken Sausages with Green Beans and fresh fruit. Turkey Burgers and a Salad. One night we are going to the PA State Farm Show an we are going to eat dinner there ;) It feels good to have this menu put together. Took me about 20 minutes this week is going to be a lot smoother for it. Thanks for reading Java Talk. Please share your thoughts below.


Forever Lazy? Seriously?

The other day, while the TV was on, I saw a commercial for a new product called, I kid you not...Forever Lazy.  As the seconds passed by, I kept thinking "you've got to be kidding".  It is called "Forever Lazy", what does that say about our society?

I'm all for warmth, comfort, relaxing, taking a nap, but really?  A long sleeved, fleece, jumpsuit for adults?  WITH Zippered Hatches no less!  You wouldn't want to unzip and step out of the Forever Lazy to use the bathroom.  Now there is no reason to.  Just unzip and (for the ladies) sit.  I think this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen on TV.  


Now here is a true to life image of this product, definitely.   I don't think I would be this worked up about this if it had a different name.  I think its silly.  I wouldn't want one for myself, but I wouldn't judge someone else for having one.  But with a name like Forever Lazy, UGH!  What were these people thinking?  I have a problem with anyone thinking that I'm lazy.  I could never own something that has Lazy as part of its title.  I hope I am not coming across as angry.  I'm not angry, I'm a little speechless, and cannot imagine why anyone would want one.  Some words that come to mind to describe this product are: absurd, comical and laughable. 

What do you think?  Are you looking for a pair of comfy overalls with zippers in "all the right places"?  Or maybe you are in need of something to give as a practical joke.  They make them for men and women and they come in a variety of colors ;)  Since I made an issue of this wacky one piece outfit,  I wouldn't be surprised if someone in my family thinks it would be hilarious to buy me a Forever Lazy for my upcoming birthday.


Dinner Tonight

I have been very unmotivated in the dinner department which leads to no preplanned menu, which leads to no inspiration to cook each night. Which leads to...you get the idea I'm sure.

Today I was at the local Giant and bought a premade pizza crust that my family likes. But when I got home, I decided to try something new. I made my first ever homemade pizza crust. It was an easy process. And I have a feeling I'll be this again soon.

The pizza was a winner. Every one around the table gave it two thumbs up! That made me feel pretty good. Here is how to make your own pizza crust. Now I just need to learn how to throw the crust in the air while I shape it into the proper pie shape.

Mix 1 1/2 cups of hot water with one .25 oz of Instant Dry Yeast. Let sit for about 5 minutes until the yeast has dissolved.

In another bowl, mix 3 1/2 C of flour (I made a wheat crust so I used 2 1/2 C of wheat flour and 1 C of all purpose), 2 T of olive oil, 2 t of salt and 1 t of sugar.

Pour into mixing bowl with yeast water. Use standing mixer to make this easier. Use the paddle to mix all the ingredients on low for about 5 mins. Switch paddle for the bread hook and let mix for about 10 more mins.

Remove from stand. Sprinkle a little olive oil in bowl. Roll dough into a ball. Cover with Saran wrap and leave out to rise for about an hour or so. The dough should double. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

Split the dough ball into two balls. Roll out and spread into a pie shape.

Add any pizza toppings you prefer. I used sauce, mozzarella cheese, turkey pepperoni and a few sliced mushrooms.

Bake for about 15 mins until cheese is golden brown. Enjoy!

If you bake the second crust at the same time, you can double wrap the crust in Saran wrap and freeze for a quick meal another night.

This was a successful experiment at our house. There wasn't anything really difficult. And once again, it feels good to make something healthy that everyone enjoyed.

Thanks for reading Java Talk. Please share your thoughts below.


Happy Face

As I sat to put my sneakers on, my daughter shared an observation that stopped me in my tracks.  She simply said, "you have a happy face on".  Wow!  Immediately I began to wonder is that such a strange thing that my five year old notices when I have a "happy face"?  That is so sad to me.

There have been real times of darkness, when happiness is far, far away.  But for the most part, I feel in a normal place.  Good days, a few bad days, just like everyone else.  I want my children to remember Mommy having a Happy Face.  I'm not sure if I'm blowing this incident way out of proportion but it really hit me hard.

Today I am going to make a point of having a Happy Face while I am around my family.  I love them more than words can say but do they know it?  Deep down I'm sure they do.  But my little one made that statement to me this morning with such joy in her voice.  Just think of how things could change around here if my Happy Face comes around more often.  I am not about to fake it.  I'm in the process of learning how to NOT smile and say 'I'm fine".  I don't want to pass that habit down to my kiddos.  Today I want to be more aware of all I have to be joyful and thankful for, and as a result, my Happy Face should make more appearances :)


Back To School

The holidays are almost over.  We actually made it all the way to Thursday before I felt the beginning of "being together too much" syndrome kick into effect.  The week home with the kiddos was nice.  I enjoyed watching them play with their new toys.  They just seemed to hop from one new toy to another throughout each day.  We played together.  And we met up with some friends we don't get to see often.

Thursday, they started to get on each other's nerves.  Which got on my nerves.  It didn't help that we didn't get out of the house that day.  Grandparents arrived Thursday afternoon.  That made Friday fly by.  I love to watch the Mini's with their G-parents :)

The kiddos are back to school.  I will miss the relaxed nature of the past week and a half.  It has been great to get up early when I want and chose to stay in bed when I want.  This is a luxury only possible on days that we don't have to rush out the door to get the boy to school.  Andy has come home and joined us for lunch each day which was a nice way for us to connect as a family during this past week.  It will be nice to get back into a routine.  And it will be nice not having to worry about what to do with the kiddos while I exercise.  I'm thankful for the time we had together.  I'm glad we had a nice time and enjoyed each other.  But I have to be honest, I'm glad they are back to school and I get a little bit of alone time again ;)


Dear Diary,

On March 13, 2012, it will be four years since I had surgery on my right hip.  On one hand it seems like a lifetime ago.  I had no idea what my life would be like after recovery.  I was surprised by how quickly I bounced back.  But just because I got back to the business of living an active life, that does not mean I was eager to go through this again.

A few weeks ago, I found out that it is time to have my left hip repaired.  My emotions have been all over the place on this one.  Fear.  In spite of having been down this road before, the idea of doing this all over again is very scary.  The pain of surgery and recovery.  The sleepless nights.  Anger.  Why do I have to do this again?  I am healthy, I eat well and exercise.  I've done this once, can't it be someone else's turn?  Resignation.  It doesn't really matter if I want to do this or not, I need to be fixed so I need to suck it up and get it done.  Helpless.  This is all out of my control.  It is happening to me and there isn't much I can do about it.  I can get fixed, or I can choose not to have the surgery and sign up for a life time of pain.  And occasionally, Hope.  Once this process is over and I am fully healed, I should be "all better".  My days of chronic pain should be over.  I can't even remember what it was like to not hurt all the time.

Not being able to workout at the Y is going to be so hard on me mentally.  This is "my" time each day.  The friends I have made there are a big part of my social circle.  I know I wont be able to stay away completely.  I will probably end up there walking the track just to keep with my routine and to say hello to my peeps.

My surgery is scheduled for January 30.  I really just want it over so I can move on to getting better. As I already said, my emotions are all over on this one.  Until then, I just need to take it one day at a time and focus on how  much better my life will be once this is all behind me.   I'm glad I will have Java Talk to keep me busy while I recuperate.

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