Here We Go Again.

By "we" I mean "me".  I read a writing prompt today, When have you dreaded returning somewhere? This took 2 seconds for me to form a response.  As I sit her with this extremely uncomfortable pain in my hip, I am unable to forget my trip to Hershey Med Center today for a special type of MRI on my hip.

A little background...In 2008, I had surgery on my right hip to correct a problem called Hip Impingement.  I had this special MRI in 2008 to determine the amount of Laberal damage was in my hip joint.  The test confirmed, lots of tearing so I went to surgery to fix the impingement and fix the damage that was done.

It is now nearing the end of 2011 and I am experiencing more frequent pain and discomfort in my left hip.  I have already seen the Bone Doc, and he sent me to have this special test today.  What makes this test so "special" and very painful is that in an effort to inject a dye into my hip that will show up on the MRI, they have to do much more than just poke me with a needle filled with color.  The process took about 20 mins.  Even with local numbing, it was extremely uncomfortable.  Then, they had to start over at one point.  Apparently, 10-15% of patients have their Bursa in the way, so the needle needs to move around to get below it.  Guess who fit into THAT unlucky category?  I vaguely remember a similar situation with the other hip last time.  Not the specifics but that they had to start over to get a better angle.  All of this BEFORE I am led to the huge machine that swallows you up and bangs all around while your toes are taped together and you aren't allowed to move for 30 minutes.

I have been through this before.  The initial visits to the Bone Doc.  The special MRIs.  Even surgery and recovery.  And I am happy to say that my symptoms are no where near as progressed as they were the first time around....YET.  But the frequency has definitely increased.   I have dreaded this whole entire process.  I'm not sure why it is so upsetting to me.  I have been here before.  But I've healed and been better for all of this too.  So why am I so full of dread and angst over the possibility of walking down this same path again?  I'm very frustrated with myself with these feelings.

I have to wait about two weeks until I see  the Bone Doc again and  discuss the results of this test.  I need to be prepared for another trip to the OR.  But I also need to decide if it should be sooner or later. Part of me says put it off as long as you can.  But part of me says, if I'm definitely having the same problem, lets fix it before it gets so far progressed I can barely walk up the stairs.

This is not my typical happy post.  But I'm not feeling like my typical happy self right now.  Tomorrow will be a better day, once this discomfort subsides.  Not sure what the experience of reading this was like, but writing these thoughts down have helped me feel a little better about the whole thing.  For now at least, while I wait to see what's next.  

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