BC Day 10

Day 10: Something you are afraid of

What am I afraid of?  I do not like to speak into a microphone.  This uncomfortable, stressful, panic-inducing task of speaking into a microphone is something that I am afraid of.  If you know me well, you may be surprised to read this.  It seems odd because I love to sing, and I sing on the Worship Team at my church every week.  When I sing, I sing into a microphone so why is it so hard to speak into a microphone?

It took me years (almost 2 decades) to sing in front of people.  But I love to sing.  So eventually I decided to face my fear and sing on the worship team.  I love this job.  I really do.  After the first few years, I finally stopped being nervous about singing at the front of the church each week.  If I can do this, why can't I speak into a microphone?  I have no idea.  What is the difference?  Not much, just the rhythm the words come out, right?  But to me, there is a huge difference.

Who knows, maybe it goes back to an assignment back in seventh grade.  We were to choose a poem, memorize it and then recite it in front of our class.  And of course, the teacher thought it would be great to video tape everyone while the performed.  I picked out my poem.  I memorized every word.  My name was called.  I went to the front of the room, looked up and began to recite the words.  I got as far as the end of the first line.  Then I saw the blinking red light on the recorder...and it was gone!  I couldn't remember a word.  Not one!  I started over a few times and I couldn't do it.  My best friend ended up whispering line by line to me so I could sit down.  I realize there was no microphone involved in this nightmare, but it seems reasonable to me that this may be where my fear began.

It doesn't really matter why I am afraid of speaking into a microphone.  So far, I have been able to make a fuss and insist that I do not talk into the microphone.  But I'm starting to feel that I need to overcome this fear.  I need to stop letting this fear dictate what I am willing to do (or not willing to do).  I am going to work on this.  It will be extremely uncomfortable for me.  And I will be very anxious when the opportunities arise but I have got to get over this.  Its time.

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